Post by davehumm on Oct 27, 2019 23:35:10 GMT
Starting to repost some of Uncle Rogipoos threads that I have managed to retrieve from the Yahoo group.
Hey Ho!
This mornin` I decided to see if "Mystic Mog" the batty prophetess of the west woods. She lives in the old "Spellfire" club caves where the "Mad Squire" an` his chums used to do their stuff. This seems mainly to have centred on boozing an` cavortin` about with ladies whose morals were as loose as their bodices!
Now the west woods ain`t a place for the faint hearted. It has a strange brooding silence an` more scary trees than you can shake a stick at. Then there are the stones that mark the path, all carved with mysterious runey things an` the occasional skull, some of which ain`t carved! Mog don`t help much either mind. First thing you see when you get to the path is a sign crudely painted with "Go away! Trespassers will be hexed!" in red. Fortunately this don`t apply to me as I own the place. Later on you find "You are really going to regret going any further!". Then, " Can`t you read? You really are going to be very,very, sorry!" followed by "I mean it!". Actually it`s all a front, she just don`t like folk comin` tryin` to sell her stuff. She wouldn`t really hex anybody, I think,`cos she`s a fair minded old bat. I rember seein` her puttin the signs up, a sort of "Fair Witch Project". She always seems quite fond of me. Says I remind 'er of Grandpa, `strewth! I gather that she an` the ol` "Mad Squire" were rather....ahem...close. Mind you, in her day she was quite a good looker. Gramps had her portrait painted in ..ah...hmm...er.. a long time ago. It`s hangin` in the North wing, bit they all recon is haunted. Bit distractin` that pictue is, shows her wearin` this rather provocative red velvet witchy type outfit. Harry finds it most interestin`. Funny how the eyes seem to follow you round the room.
Got to the caves, there was a note pinned to the door.
"Welcome Rogipoos, Welcome Jose, come in I was expecting you, thanks for the gin, what a nice thought!"
Ah! Now that`s a thing to bear in mind if you go to call on Mog, always take a large bottle of gin with you. She says that spirits ecourage the spirits or somethin` similar. Also helps to bring her `round after she`s bin in a trance. Bit unnervin` how she always knows when I`m goin` to pop `round.
"Hello dear," says she kissin` me cheek, which is an...unusual experience "Haven`t you grown! If you`re grandfather was alive now."(Yikes!)" Oh! Gorgon`s gin! The spirits find that soo encouraging! And Jose! aren`t you so lovely!" she says pikkin` im up and givin` him a big hug. Funnily, Jose seems to like ol` "Mystic".
"Armahualpadillo`s blessings be with you, you cute little familiar you!" Odd that, I always thought that he was an armadillo. "Granny has got some nice ants and termites for you!"
"Now, sit down and we`ll have a nice big mug of gin!" Frankly I`d rather have had cocoa, but "When in Rospo-rana..." as they say!
Over the gin I gave her an outline of the situation. Mog took a big swig o` gin an` started swayin` in her chair an` moanin`. Then her head shook to an` fro in a sort of habandoned manner. Suddenly she went all stiff, arms braced against the table, her eyes takin` on a "thousand yard stare".
"An elf in disguise eats a chicken,"(ooh! I thought)"A yellow coat is helpful." (wooo!) The climbing gunner should not fear the west woods." (wooh!) "Hickory dickory dock, a Swizzic fixed up the clock, coocoo!"(ooh!) Falklands, Cromarty, Fairisle, fair twenty three rising thirty. Fog patches clearing later."(Woo!)."Orcs in the Hills is a cause for joy!"(troooh!) "A toy cat is significant."(Woooo!) "An orc in high office works with an elf." (ahoo!) "Beware the hides of marsh."(oooooh!) "A wabbit in a burrow and a toad in the hole have meaning." (Woo) "Doctor."(Whoo). March, march, raise your flag high! (oooh!). The small metal armies march on! (wooh!) and a couple from Funbridge Wells will not be celebrating toooooooooooo!" (wooooooooh!)
At that she slumped forward. Ooh, her head didn`t half thump! I applied medicinal gin immediately.
"Did I say anything?" she asked.
"You`ve ben very helpful.Thank you." I said, somewhat confused.But the things that the chaps had heard in Nottnum, Brenda`s information, Nice Dr. Fried (in the white coat)`s analysis and now this. Things were becoming clear, now it was a matter of waitin` for tomorrows copy of "Ye Sunne" newspaper. Before I left Mog gave me an apple and a little box of termites for Jose. Nice lady! She came with me to the door, as I was goin` I noticed her pinning a note to the door.
"Got a visitor coming." She said.
Started to wander back along the path, Jose was skamperin` happily along in front whe, blow me! There was Lt.Whimper headin` toward me carryin` a bottle of gin!
"Hello sir! Lovely woods aren`t they?"
I looked at the bottle. Gorgon`s. Full. So he wasn`t takin` the stuff!
"Um, Whimper, don`t you think some of the trees are just a trifle...how do I say it...um...scary?"
"You know sir, I had that problem once, you know trees being... woooh... scary!. Doctor Fried, you know the nice one in the white coat, he helped me a lot. Got me to sit down and talk to a "not at all scary" tree, and then it had a chat with the "scary" trees and they agreed not to be so scary when I`m around. Then, when I was talking to my "friendly" tree the other day, this kindly old lady came along
and told me that the trees that used to be scary had not meant to be scary and were really sorry that they had frightened me. She asked me if I would like to visit her for a chat and not to worry about the trees because they really just wanted to be friends. Asked me if I would bring a bottle of gin, Gorgon`s in particular."
Strange fellow. Glad he`s over the tree thing though. Scary trees indeed! Ooh mind you, that one looks a bit suspect.
That`s when I heard a "click" from behind me. That sort of "click" that goes before a "Clack..Boom!" an a pistol ball rips into you an` you start leakin' red stuff....
Will there be a "Clack..Boom! ?
Will Uncle Rogipoos leak red stuff?
Will the trees keep their bargain with Whimper?
Will the fog patches clear in sea areas Falklands, Cromarty and Fairisle?
Did Mr John Neilsorc remove Mr. and Mrs Disgusted from his "Maffs an' stuff" text book?
What did the "chaps" discover in Nottnumm?
Will there be an empty place at the "chaps" table at the Willorcs Arms this evening?
In what ways did the cult of the severed head establish and preserve Necromantic pan-tribal power in areas of Dark Age Valon, and how did it contribute to it`s eventual downfall? What does this imply when taken in the light of the current socio-econmic, military and political situation in Urop, with particular reference to the Witchlands?
Extra marks will be awarded for the use of relevant maps, diagrams and body parts.
(Courtesy of the department of Mad History an`stuff, University of Nottnumm).
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Lawdy, can't wait for the next episode... sounds like a job for SureLost Homes and Dr. Whatsup. much more reliable than Inspector Lagrange, orbiting the outskirts of a case what? though being from Joccian Yard I suppose its a case of Josh. a nice sipping single molt p'raps.
Kurt Benson
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Hey Ho Kurt,
Not a bad idea old chap. Dare say that nice little old lady Miss Maypole and the Burrovian sleuth Hercules Parrot might help out too. Trouble with the lot of them is that they seem to be awfully busy with this madness afflicting elements of our upper middle classes and aristocracy which makes `em bump each other off. "Mystic Mog" is convinced that a woman called Agony Crusty is behind the whole thingummmyjig business. Mind you, I gather that in Amerka a johnny called Ellova Mess an` the "unspeakables" take a fairly direct approach to cime prevention!
Glad you enjoy the ramblin`s,
Cheers!
Uncle Rogipoos.
Hey Ho!
This mornin` I decided to see if "Mystic Mog" the batty prophetess of the west woods. She lives in the old "Spellfire" club caves where the "Mad Squire" an` his chums used to do their stuff. This seems mainly to have centred on boozing an` cavortin` about with ladies whose morals were as loose as their bodices!
Now the west woods ain`t a place for the faint hearted. It has a strange brooding silence an` more scary trees than you can shake a stick at. Then there are the stones that mark the path, all carved with mysterious runey things an` the occasional skull, some of which ain`t carved! Mog don`t help much either mind. First thing you see when you get to the path is a sign crudely painted with "Go away! Trespassers will be hexed!" in red. Fortunately this don`t apply to me as I own the place. Later on you find "You are really going to regret going any further!". Then, " Can`t you read? You really are going to be very,very, sorry!" followed by "I mean it!". Actually it`s all a front, she just don`t like folk comin` tryin` to sell her stuff. She wouldn`t really hex anybody, I think,`cos she`s a fair minded old bat. I rember seein` her puttin the signs up, a sort of "Fair Witch Project". She always seems quite fond of me. Says I remind 'er of Grandpa, `strewth! I gather that she an` the ol` "Mad Squire" were rather....ahem...close. Mind you, in her day she was quite a good looker. Gramps had her portrait painted in ..ah...hmm...er.. a long time ago. It`s hangin` in the North wing, bit they all recon is haunted. Bit distractin` that pictue is, shows her wearin` this rather provocative red velvet witchy type outfit. Harry finds it most interestin`. Funny how the eyes seem to follow you round the room.
Got to the caves, there was a note pinned to the door.
"Welcome Rogipoos, Welcome Jose, come in I was expecting you, thanks for the gin, what a nice thought!"
Ah! Now that`s a thing to bear in mind if you go to call on Mog, always take a large bottle of gin with you. She says that spirits ecourage the spirits or somethin` similar. Also helps to bring her `round after she`s bin in a trance. Bit unnervin` how she always knows when I`m goin` to pop `round.
"Hello dear," says she kissin` me cheek, which is an...unusual experience "Haven`t you grown! If you`re grandfather was alive now."(Yikes!)" Oh! Gorgon`s gin! The spirits find that soo encouraging! And Jose! aren`t you so lovely!" she says pikkin` im up and givin` him a big hug. Funnily, Jose seems to like ol` "Mystic".
"Armahualpadillo`s blessings be with you, you cute little familiar you!" Odd that, I always thought that he was an armadillo. "Granny has got some nice ants and termites for you!"
"Now, sit down and we`ll have a nice big mug of gin!" Frankly I`d rather have had cocoa, but "When in Rospo-rana..." as they say!
Over the gin I gave her an outline of the situation. Mog took a big swig o` gin an` started swayin` in her chair an` moanin`. Then her head shook to an` fro in a sort of habandoned manner. Suddenly she went all stiff, arms braced against the table, her eyes takin` on a "thousand yard stare".
"An elf in disguise eats a chicken,"(ooh! I thought)"A yellow coat is helpful." (wooo!) The climbing gunner should not fear the west woods." (wooh!) "Hickory dickory dock, a Swizzic fixed up the clock, coocoo!"(ooh!) Falklands, Cromarty, Fairisle, fair twenty three rising thirty. Fog patches clearing later."(Woo!)."Orcs in the Hills is a cause for joy!"(troooh!) "A toy cat is significant."(Woooo!) "An orc in high office works with an elf." (ahoo!) "Beware the hides of marsh."(oooooh!) "A wabbit in a burrow and a toad in the hole have meaning." (Woo) "Doctor."(Whoo). March, march, raise your flag high! (oooh!). The small metal armies march on! (wooh!) and a couple from Funbridge Wells will not be celebrating toooooooooooo!" (wooooooooh!)
At that she slumped forward. Ooh, her head didn`t half thump! I applied medicinal gin immediately.
"Did I say anything?" she asked.
"You`ve ben very helpful.Thank you." I said, somewhat confused.But the things that the chaps had heard in Nottnum, Brenda`s information, Nice Dr. Fried (in the white coat)`s analysis and now this. Things were becoming clear, now it was a matter of waitin` for tomorrows copy of "Ye Sunne" newspaper. Before I left Mog gave me an apple and a little box of termites for Jose. Nice lady! She came with me to the door, as I was goin` I noticed her pinning a note to the door.
"Got a visitor coming." She said.
Started to wander back along the path, Jose was skamperin` happily along in front whe, blow me! There was Lt.Whimper headin` toward me carryin` a bottle of gin!
"Hello sir! Lovely woods aren`t they?"
I looked at the bottle. Gorgon`s. Full. So he wasn`t takin` the stuff!
"Um, Whimper, don`t you think some of the trees are just a trifle...how do I say it...um...scary?"
"You know sir, I had that problem once, you know trees being... woooh... scary!. Doctor Fried, you know the nice one in the white coat, he helped me a lot. Got me to sit down and talk to a "not at all scary" tree, and then it had a chat with the "scary" trees and they agreed not to be so scary when I`m around. Then, when I was talking to my "friendly" tree the other day, this kindly old lady came along
and told me that the trees that used to be scary had not meant to be scary and were really sorry that they had frightened me. She asked me if I would like to visit her for a chat and not to worry about the trees because they really just wanted to be friends. Asked me if I would bring a bottle of gin, Gorgon`s in particular."
Strange fellow. Glad he`s over the tree thing though. Scary trees indeed! Ooh mind you, that one looks a bit suspect.
That`s when I heard a "click" from behind me. That sort of "click" that goes before a "Clack..Boom!" an a pistol ball rips into you an` you start leakin' red stuff....
Will there be a "Clack..Boom! ?
Will Uncle Rogipoos leak red stuff?
Will the trees keep their bargain with Whimper?
Will the fog patches clear in sea areas Falklands, Cromarty and Fairisle?
Did Mr John Neilsorc remove Mr. and Mrs Disgusted from his "Maffs an' stuff" text book?
What did the "chaps" discover in Nottnumm?
Will there be an empty place at the "chaps" table at the Willorcs Arms this evening?
In what ways did the cult of the severed head establish and preserve Necromantic pan-tribal power in areas of Dark Age Valon, and how did it contribute to it`s eventual downfall? What does this imply when taken in the light of the current socio-econmic, military and political situation in Urop, with particular reference to the Witchlands?
Extra marks will be awarded for the use of relevant maps, diagrams and body parts.
(Courtesy of the department of Mad History an`stuff, University of Nottnumm).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lawdy, can't wait for the next episode... sounds like a job for SureLost Homes and Dr. Whatsup. much more reliable than Inspector Lagrange, orbiting the outskirts of a case what? though being from Joccian Yard I suppose its a case of Josh. a nice sipping single molt p'raps.
Kurt Benson
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Ho Kurt,
Not a bad idea old chap. Dare say that nice little old lady Miss Maypole and the Burrovian sleuth Hercules Parrot might help out too. Trouble with the lot of them is that they seem to be awfully busy with this madness afflicting elements of our upper middle classes and aristocracy which makes `em bump each other off. "Mystic Mog" is convinced that a woman called Agony Crusty is behind the whole thingummmyjig business. Mind you, I gather that in Amerka a johnny called Ellova Mess an` the "unspeakables" take a fairly direct approach to cime prevention!
Glad you enjoy the ramblin`s,
Cheers!
Uncle Rogipoos.